Pre-Mixed Cocktails Are Strictly For Amateurs
So why is this new bottle from JP Wiser’s compelling me?
Saying you’re a fan of pre-mixed cocktails is like wearing sweatpants in public—a sign that you’ve given up. Seriously, you can’t bring yourself to add the gin…to the tonic? And the Old Fashioned—perhaps the most iconic cocktail of them all—is a drink that the making of, is an exercise in meditation that’s the closest most wasp’s get to a zen moment.
So when someone gave me a bottle of Wiser’s Old Fashioned Cocktail I was a bit…meh. It sat on my shelf for several weeks until I had to head out to a formal event and, as happens every single time, I forgot how to tie my bow tie (and don’t tell to me buy a pre-tied bow tie—that’s infinitely worse than a pre-mixed cocktail). So I was both running late and sort of dreading the evening and there, offering to solve both problems, was the bottle of Wiser’s.
Rocks glass, rocks, Wiser’s. And it was pretty good right out of the gate. It’s a hair sweet but a lot less sweet than most bourbon Old Fashions are and the Canadian whisky gives a nice shot of spice to balance it out. I grabbed a bottle of bitters—I used Creole Bitters from Bitter Truth—and suddenly things were singing quite nicely. If I had a touch more time I suppose I could’ve flamed an orange peel too. So while I’m not backing away from the pre-made cocktail thing—don’t let me catch you not making your own Caesar or I’ll have your passport seized—this $24.50 bottle can live on as a homegrown exception to the rule for this in a pinch.